My beautiful 19 yo niece died in Oct after taking oxycontin which one of her "friends" had given her. I had written the following poem to tell her story and hopefully to "wake up" some of these teens that trust everybody and anything just so they can fit in with their peers. My niece was a kind, loving, funny girl who befriended everyone she met. Unfortunately, not everyone she met had her best interests at heart.

THE GIFT

My "friends" gave me what they called a "Gift".
"It will get you high, give you a lift."

My parents had warned me about this kind of stuff.
"Don't smoke it, don't snort it and don't ever huff."

"Be careful who you chose as a friend,
true colors always come out in the end."

This went in one ear and out the other;
What does she know, she's only my mother.

For a second or two, I had to choose;
"If I take this stuff, what will I lose?"

"Come on said my "friends" are you in or not?"
And I nodded my head with no second thought.

"Don't take this whole, let's crush it instead"
"the high is much better... goes straight to your head."

"Sniff through this straw, you know how it's done."
But I should have known better, I should have run.

The drug went in my nose, right up to my brain.
But instead of a high all I felt was pain.


Panic was rising, I yelled, "my head it hurts".
"My throat feels like it's all clogged with dirt."

"I cannot breath, there is no air;
this can't be happening, it isn't fair."

I grabbed my head and fell to the ground.
My friends were just staring, there wasn't a sound.

The blood, it was coming out of my ears,
my mouth and my nose, and even my tears.

The pain that was in my head at first,
moved into my chest...my heart had now burst.

"My friends, why are you standing there?"
"why aren't you helping, why don't you care?"

"Call for some help, call mom and dad;
they'll help me out even if they are mad."

Instead, they left me there on the floor,
grabbed all of their stuff and went out the door.

These "friends" of mine, that I held so dear,
had just watched me die and then left me here.

For more than 12 hours, I lay this way.
They didn't come back until the next day.

The ambulance, cops and the coroner came.
I knew that my family would not be the same.

My mom and my dad, I know that they'll cry.
Forever and ever, they'll ask themselves why.

You have to have friends, in life they're a must.
But life's not a game, so watch who you trust.

Because I lost my life, I hope that you see,
all because of a "gift", my "friends" gave to me.

A.M.R. 2001
Rest in peace Nicole (Coley-Bear), we'll love you 4-ever. Aunt Amari

When my 19 yo neice died after being given oxycontin by one of her "friends", my sister took the flowers from her funeral and carefully picked each petal off and saved them all in a jar. In her grief, these petals held the memories she had of her child. The following poem was written by another sister of ours for Nicole .

  Petals In A Jar
I pulled the petals from each flower and put them in a glass,
Hoping time between us would somehow cease to pass.
Petals in a jar are all that I have now
I held onto you so tightly , yet I've lost you somehow.
More than merely beautiful, you were moved from deep within,
My soul is empty but for the longing to see you again.
The memory of your laughter and anything you've touched,
Are all so precious to me now, for I miss you so much.
Sometimes I sit and tell myself that I'll see you again,
Then I cast my eyes upon the petals and the stems.
Now I hear you giggle, smell your skin and touch your hair,
Your fiery spirit fills the room and I can see you there.
But in an instant gone again, my lovely sweet Nicole,
Once more the petals in a jar, are all that I have left to hold.
But hold onto them I surely will, it's what I need to do,
Giving thanks to God each day, for having had a child like you.
Some people you let go of , some you don't let go to far,
The very best you hold forever....just like petals in a jar.

Rest in peace Nicole....you'll stay in our hearts forever.